I’ll admit to being nervous about last weekend. It would be the first since the miniature earthquake between Jack and I, and I was hoping things might turn back to “normal” though my wise self knew that’s just not how things work. So I was nervous.
Friday night Jack went to a meeting, and though I’d been sort-of invited, it was in Oakland and I really have no reason to go there anymore. So I declined and spent the evening cutting my hair and making some photos.
Cutting my own hair started as something I decided to do to save money, but it’s become one of my favorite tasks. It’s liberating to be able to do something by yourself: change a tire, polish your own shoes, read a map, cut your own hair.
I get a mix of anxiety and self satisfaction. I cut it dry, with drugstore scissors and there’s not a lot of rhyme or reason to the process.
Yeah, it kinda looks like a little girl did it (snip a piece here, chop a little there), but I swear to god I get more compliments on my self-cut hair than I ever did with $250 styling.
But the point is, when you cut your own hair, you have to make a pact with yourself. You have to trust yourself like you could trust maybe only your sister or your best friend.
I do it naked. Standing in my bathroom with two mirrors on either side of my head. It feels good.
Saturday was “Jack makes plans day”*. He thought we could go to the Academy of Sciences, but I knew he wanted to get more things for his new home (it’s still somewhat unfurnished and mostly undecorated) so we ended up at Ikea.
We ate the meatballs and then got to work.
It’s still a little bit sensitive, the part of my heart that wants to get all excited about decorating and making a home together and nesting and all that.
I want to be excited again, like how things were on Valentine’s at Macy’s, when we bought “our” first couch.
I’m told I just need to trust him, and I am told this by him. Trust that one day, we will move in together. At this house. So I’m practicing that.
The trip was silly and fun once I let myself get into it. In the fake bathroom-room we sneaked a kiss behind the shower curtain. And Jack bought me a cupcake at that cupcake place next door. And the new coffee table, kitchen table, throw pillows and rugs look quite nice.
The whole trip wiped us out, as Ikea tends to do. So I took a nap while Jack put all the furniture together (he is kind-of a madman about this, I’ve realized).
Later we got Philly cheesesteaks, which was a bad, bad, bad idea and then pretty much called it and went sleepyhaus.
Sunday Jack went crabbing (how cute is that?) at Fisherman’s Wharf while I did housework and other shiznit I needed to do.
We ended up going to Incanto (I reviewed it in my first-ever Yelp review here) for dinner with coworker friends of his so the three crabs he caught will be eaten tonight in celebration of my half-birthday. Yes, I decided to actually celebrate it. Because I can and why not and birthdays are fun. You should do it too.
After dinner (which was lovely, if you want the short version of the review) we went home and did the official taste-test of some chocolates I was sent to review before the big big big chocolate event coming up here in the City.*
Today, I feel good about things.
*This Saturday is “Holden makes plans day”…see how that works? And it was my idea, I’ll have you know, cheesy as it may be, and not a therapist’s.**Review coming very shortly!