Listography: Things Most People Probably Don’t Know About Me

  1. I’m an alcoholic, sober for almost five years. I’ll save the whole “what happened” story for another time. It’s not very cheery, and involves a loony-bin, but the ending is good.
  2. I used to be a rather talented ballet dancer. I trained from the age of three in the Russian method, and at thirteen was about to be an apprentice to a company, but I was injured. After I recovered, the new director said I was too tall, my turnout was bad and so were my feet.
  3. I also used to be really good at tennis. My high school team almost always won the state championship.
  4. I’m bisexual. I knew I was queer from about the age of ten. I rarely use the label “bisexual” and I’m not all that comfortable with “queer” either. I’m most comfortable thinking of myself as part-lesbian. When I think about it too much, it makes me frustrated that most people (including gays and lesbians) really don’t “get” the whole bisexual thing. In college, there was the slur B.U.G. (Bisexual Until Graduation). There’s also this joke (which I think is funny): “You know what happens to bisexual people? They all end up with men.” When my relationship with Jack got serious, one of my sisters asked me if I was still bisexual. That was a little weird. It’s tough to be in the in-between place. Well, the thing is that it’s not in-between. Sometimes I think people think that if I’m with a man, then I’m not really bisexual, if I’m with a woman then I’m really a lesbian, and if I’m not with either sex in a serious relationship then I’m really just a slut.
  5. I wake up every night in the middle of the night and have a snack and smoke a cigarette.
  6. Sometimes I drool when I sleep, but I think I sort-of taught myself to do this less often. A little while ago, it became an actual problem when the corners of my mouth got really dry and chapped, so every night before I fell asleep I would kind-of self-hypnotize myself into not drooling and it weirdly actually worked.
  7. Sometimes I get night-sweats. It’s a side effect of one of the medications I take for my panic disorder.
  8. For the last five years, a good half of my dreams involve boats and/or the ocean.
  9. I really like picking at things: pimples, my boyfriend’s pimples, scabs, my nose, the chapped corners of my mouth, lint on sweaters, wax, whatever. Gross, I know.

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5 Responses to “Listography: Things Most People Probably Don’t Know About Me”

  1. tk Says:

    Very interesting! I have a ton of ocean-related dreams too. Lots of huge crashing waves and so forth. I wonder what it means.

  2. amy.leblanc Says:

    that was brave.
    i’m too chicken to even share which of these i relate to.

  3. Says:

    I actually did a little clap when I finished reading this. Hooray for pickers! I’m totally with you on that one. I’d probably be a nail-biter, too, if my damn teeth came together in the front.

  4. Tripp Says:

    You are blunt…I like that…

  5. brittney Says:

    I am fascinated by your night snack and smoke.

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