I Made Myself A Lab Bunny

So, to make up for my cold-hearted tweet the other day*, I decided to do some experiments on myself.

I didn’t try to make myself go blind, but I did whip up an amazingly goofy facial mask (or masque, if you’re reading this from the spa).

Ingredients that I just made up:

  • half an apple – a natural astringent loaded with vitamin C
  • about a cup of instant oatmeal – soothing to skin and makes it the right texture of goopy
  • about 50 aspirin tablets (make sure they’re just the white generic uncoated kind) – this is a trick I learned when I was a model: aspirin, when put directly onto the skin is healing for things like pimples and redness (it constricts blood vessels, just like it does when you take it orally)
  • some dried rose petals – roses are good for balancing out “combination skin” that’s dry in some patches and oily in others, you can also use fresh petals or rosewater
  • maybe a quarter cup of green tea leaves – calms the skin, slight acidity works as an astringent as well
  • some squirts of juice from an orange – astringent
  • one dose of liquid glycerin laxative – yeah, I know, weird, but it’s another former-model trick…this stuff makes pimples go poof!
  • a little bit of water – whatever you need to make it work in the blender

Okay, I know that sounds a little nutty, but the facial feels fantastic. Furthermore, it’s really goopy and green sea-monster-esque. And I put it on my face using a spatula.




So, you basically leave this thing on until it dries.

* For the record, all my cosmetics (okay, almost all of them) are animal-cruelty free. And the products I make most definitely are NOT tested on animals. If you have a sense of humor, you probably got that, but some people are slow.

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