What? You Haven’t Heard Of Puppycam Yet?

Editor’s Note: What you are about to read may be disturbing, but in the spirit of journalistic integrity, I must present it to you as is (mostly). Please understand that the high stress of the recent Presdiential election has mucked up some of the finest young minds in America. In puppycam, they have found solace and comfort. We should all be grateful to these canines for their service.


Because I’ve been on Puppycam for weeks now, and I have to say, the new stuff is pretty good, but I liked their old stuff better. No, you can’t see it now; I got it imported.

Monsieur: that’s pretty cute

me: i KNOW!

Monsieur: seen on puppycam:  07:52 Jub-Jub : they are clustering like cells undergoing mitosis, from one big mass to two smaller ones

me: omg there was almost a fight!@

Monsieur: what?

me: they almost had a fight!

Monsieur: who?

me: the puppies!

Monsieur: are you addicted to watching them?

me: um, meth is an addiction not puppies mmmkay

Monsieur: sounds like denial to me

me: that’s funny, when you open your mouth, puppies fall out

Monsieur: i just got Jack’s status – that’s from obama’s speach right?

me: mmm

Monsieur: what are you talking about girl?

me: yes puppies it puppies is puppies from puppes that puppies speech

Monsieur: i think i taped obama’s speach  – i’m gonna rewatch it. i really want to rewatch the afleck olberman impression

Monsieur: yessssssss: 07:52 Jub-Jub : they are clustering like cells undergoing mitosis, from one big mass to two smaller ones

me: now you’re speaking my language

Monsieur: i mean:  http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/countdown-with-keith-olbermann/805561/

me: isn’t there a video of keith olbermann doing ben affleck as keith olbermann?

[insert crazy loud squeak sound here]

Monsieur: what was THAT?!

ok i have the puppies still in another tab too

me: the squeaky toy!

Monsieur: um no. i think i was [redacted due to Monsieur’s future bid for presidency] when i said that. i sort of wondered if you thought i was being literal or not. god. its so funny having that webpage open

me: it makes me happiness

Monsieur: cuz every once in a while i see something and i’m like: “what was that?!…oh it was just the puppies”

me: they are sugar puppies

Monsieur: srsly. virtual pets rule. just think. we don’t even have to clean up their shit

me: so is there keith olberman doing ben affleck as keith olbermann or what?

Monsieur: just pay your DSL bill. NO. at least not that i’ve seen.

me: did he mention it?

Monsieur: no i think I mentioned it to you. by mistake. it was grammar stuttering

me: that it the worst lie you’ve ever told me

Monsieur: it was my McCain moment. “I couldn’t agree with them more!”

me: however, watching ben affleck do it again is really better the 2nd time

Monsieur: it wasn’t a LIE

me: i think this is ben affleck’s finest work ever

Monsieur: it ain’t bad

me: well, it’s no puppy cam

Monsieur: you cant even tell its him. what is?

me: puppies?

Monsieur: that was a rhetorical: what is puppycam? as in nothings  better. as in they should get the oscar for best picture. emmy?

me: “what is puppycam” is a question for the world’s future philosophers. you and i, my friend. we shall just enjoy

Monsieur: puppycam is god. i have seen the light!

me: puppified. puppimonious. puppiliciousness. puppitrity

Monsieur: stop holden! prima’s gonna be jealous

me: prima is a minion of puppycam. she is on our side. like dog. oops, i mean god

Monsieur: did you know you can make it full-screen? this would make a good screensaver

me: puppies do not merely save screens! dude puppycam is the new lolcats


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