As evidenced by these snapshots from my poolside cabana and photographs courtesy of Warren diFranco Hsu (the real “best” fashion photographer in SF) over at After5Media, I did indeed attend STELLAR: The San Francisco Fashion Awards.
It was slightly less-Zoolanderesque than I would have liked, with most people just treating the scene as something to do on a Sunday afternoon: chill out, catch up with friends, mingle with the hanging around by a thread San Francisco fashion industry. Damn you, SF, for being so cool and not overserious about this event. I really was hoping for more hilarity.
Given, this was a “First Annual”, but the organization of the event was, well, fairly nonexistent. I brought Jack who was nonplussed.
The Tackiness Redux:
(1) Having to wait in line to get into the Bambuddah Lounge. The venue is located inside the Phoenix Hotel which is in the Tenderloin. True, it was a gorgeous day, but come on. Making your nominees wait with the plebes outside?
Tacky Factor = +10
(2) Making everyone wear Day-Glo orange wristbands. Hello, PR? This is a fashion event. Really, wristbands? And if they were so necessary, you couldn’t pop for clear ones? I’d have taken an “inside right wrist stamp” over this. The Day-Glo, really just did not go with my ensemble. Nor anyone else’s.
Tacky Factor = +5
(3) The poor dude assigned to “The VIP List” had no idea what was going on. I think they may have pulled the hotel’s concierge from his post and said, “Here, deal with this.” Finding two names (mine and Jack’s) proved a task that left List Man breathless and confused.
Tacky Factor = +2
(4) Those who weren’t nominated, but kindly attended this made-up “event” and paid $20 per person, still had to pay for drinks, and worse, food. Come to think of it, hell everyone had to pay for refreshments. My cranberry juice in a plastic cup? Like four dollars. We’re not real celebrities, you know? We’re barely of small-town fame. And we’re in the fashion industry (READ: We are poor.)
Tacky Facor = +8
(6) Reserved cabana for nominees/VIPs.
Tacky Factor = -4
(7) No cocktail waitresses.
Tacky Factor = +1
(8) A rather impressively eclectic mix of attendees hotel guests, curious party-girls, fashion industry people, media-types, rockabilly kids and hipsters.
Tacky Factor = -7
(9) Hired models cum poolboys. Truly tacky, but in a self-effacing way. All wore bright red spandex trunks.
Tacky Factor = -1
(10) PA system to announce winners was either broked or just not set up properly. The music worked all right, but no one could hear a goddamn thing said through the mic unless you were standing directly next to the Master of Ceremonies.
Tacky Factor = +9
(12) “Best Fashion Photographer” awarded to Del Geronimo, the man who, in fact, organized the entire event. Dude, come on. You can’t make up your own awards show and then nominate yourself. It doesn’t even matter who got the most “votes,” that’s really, really tacky.
Tacky Factor = +10
(13) “Best Fashion Designer” awarded to Kayo Mitsuimi. Okay, I’m way biased because she’s my girl, but Kayo affects SF fashion design in both the indie-scene and in the big, corporate giantess way (she also designs for Levi’s). Well deserved.
Tacky Factor = -10
(14) Fashion show immediately following award ceremony had no runway and models were forced to walk the edge of the pool. I’m told there were plans to put a runway across the pool, which idea was abandoned due to “liability”. Come on, this is the “Rock n Roll Hotel” of SF. A GL policy of $1M could have covered that, easily.
Tacky Factor = +3
Finally, (15) It was a brilliant day. Perfect, in fact, for this whole shebang. You lucky bastards.
Tacky Factor = -10
Overall, my extraordinarily precise put the tackiness of the event down as a wash. Do I think there will be a “Second Annual San Francisco Fashion Awards”? Well, no. Not really. But we’ll see. I have to hand it to Del Geronimo. He shouldn’t be underestimated.