The Personal Side Of All This

I realize many of my political posts as of late have been, well, political. However, since Prop 8 is a civil rights issue, it is (of course) affecting so many of us personally.

The little fun-fact that I am somewhere in the B-range of LGBT myself, is probably hidden around San Francisco Love Story, but I rarely come out here. Afterall, Jack is a man, so sometimes I feel like part of my identity gets lost in the shuffle.

It’s difficult to say how much I want the basic right of being able to marry a woman, if I’m in a (happy, successful, hopefully long-term) relationship with a man. But I do want that right. I should have that right. And I feel more split than ever knowing that the State of California will gives a thumbs up to me if my partner is male and a big thumbs down if she is female.

A while ago, I made a little promise to myself that I would not marry anyone until I had the right to marry who I wanted. That secret turned into a full on refutation of marriage altogether for me, fueled by my parents’ recent divorce after 30+ years. Why get married at all?

My friend, photographer Mona Brooks was over the other night, helping me with some lighting techniques for shooting products. She has been a staunch supporter of the No On 8 campaign, as well as one of the official photographers of Barack Obama’s campaign. She is married, happily, to her (awesome) husband and the way she speaks about marriage (in general and personally) made me reassess my feelings about it.

Anyway, my brain has been a little boondoggled lately, but I thought I’d start hashing some of this out since I know both writing about it, coming out (again and again) and hopefully getting feedback from y’all, has proven to be enormously helpful.

Finally, in my day-to-day spins around my favorite blogs, I’ve found the following posts which have:

1. Reminded me what love means, what love is to us as a people and as individuals
2. Sparked a renewed sense of purpose in fighting for LGBT Civil Rights
3. Made me fall in love with people all over again, smiling and crying

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The Irony Is Not Lost On Me

a letter to the recently wed Moya and Leanne

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“And here I thought that after an Obama win I’d have nothing to rant about!  Silly me.

I’ve heard rumblings online—that I wholly agree with—that a real movement need to be started to revoke the tax-free status of churches in this country.  If you’re going to stand in your bloody pulpits, meddle in politics and tell your parishioners how to think vote, then by god, you’re going to fuckin’ pay for the privilege.

You want a culture war religious lunatics?  Bring it. It’s a new day in America.  You will LOSE.”

from “As the Giddiness Wears Off…” on Voenix Rising

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“Thank You” on Random Screaming

“I was driving into work, mad and irritated about the Prop 8 voting results and more than anything really wanted to talk to my mom about what seems like blatant discrimination and for someone like her, to have endured the bulk of the civil rights movement, in the south, no less, made me felt like she would’ve understood my dilemma…” more

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“prop8: unconstitutional” on intellectual properties

Assemblyman Mark Leno:

“For years, first as an activist and then as an elected official, I had always wanted for myself and for my community the same rights, benefits and privileges along with the responsibilities and obligations of marriage but I was not sure that we needed to fight a war over a word.

My heart and mind were changed irrevocably after having read the Nov 2003 decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court.  That court, not unlike the Supreme courts of Hawaii and Vermont before it, ruled that there is no constitutional basis for the discrimination of denying loving and devoted same-sex couples marriage licenses.  They went on to say that our nation’s history has taught us that separate is seldom, if ever, equal.  But they then went on to say something even more powerful, something that I had never thought of before then.  The justices stated that the only remedy to this identified discrimination is marriage and marriage alone.  No parallel construct such as civil unions or domestic partnerships would do, they said, because it would ‘perpetuate a destructive stereotype that suggests that there is something inferior and unstable about the way same-sex couples love.’ Think about this for a moment.  What is the one thing that all of us walking this planet have in common irrespective of our race, creed, color, religion, nation of origin, native language, sexual orientation or gender identity?  What is our common humanity?  It is our ability to love and our desire to love another human being in an intimate and committed fashion.  That is what makes us human beings.

If we, through our public policy and law making, are going to say that one group of humans loves in a way that is deserving of a marriage license but this other group just doesn’t love quite good enough so we will deny them their fundamental right to marry, then we are denying that group their very humanity.  It was at that time that I decided that I was ready to fight a war over a word.”

[my emphases]

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Photograph of the candlelight vigil held at San Francisco City Hall on Wendesday, November 5th.

From Curbed SF

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Tags: California, Civil Rights, LGBT, LGBT, marriage, Mental Health, Mona Brooks, No On Prop 8, San Francisco